Night 2 at the Riverside Drive-In!

The 2012 Super Drive-In Monsterrama has come and gone, and what a tombstone-cold blast it was.  (That's my best Forrest J. Ackerman impression.)  The lineup for the second night was just as strong as the first, featuring two classic Hammer flicks I've never actually seen until now.

"Twins of Evil", the third film in Hammer's "Karnstein" trilogy, unspooled first, and they had me at "Peter Cushing". Cushing plays a pious witch hunter who likes to accuse innocent girls of being in league with the devil, burning them alive, yet somehow lacks the courage to confront Count Karnstein, the obvious vampire living in the spooky old castle on the hill.  Maria and Freida are orphaned twin sisters who find themselves threatened by the Count; when Freida falls victim to the dark side and is discovered to be a vampire, she and Karnstein try to trick the "witch hunters" into burning Maria instead by having her swap places with Freida.

"Countess Dracula" was my surprise favorite of the evening. As a kid, I was never lucky enough to catch it running on TV, and when I read in the monster mags that she wasn't really a vampire in it, I guess I kind of wrote it off and felt like my childhood was ruined. But it's actually a compelling story of a Countess who discovers that when she gets a young virgin chambermaid's blood on her skin, she starts to look young again. We never really know why this is happening, or if it would happen to anybody who touched some virgin's blood, but pretty soon she's killing young girls and bathing in their blood. With the help of her longtime lover, she sets up a steady blood supply and schemes to take the place of her own daughter, winning the love of a much younger man and arousing the jealousy of her own lover.  I thought it was great seeing how the Countess becomes more and more obsessed with the idea of remaining young, so much that she doesn't even care that someone else has to die in order for her to do it.

...and what exactly would that be, I wonder?

"Raw Meat" was the third feature, and the print we saw carried the original title "Death Line".  If you haven't seen this one, it's a somewhat erratic 1973 British thriller starring Donald Pleasance as an inspector on the case several disappearances in a particular area of the London subway.  What it takes him the whole movie to find out is that there is a homicidal maniac loose, the last descendant of a group of workers who were trapped in the tunnels after a cave-in occurred during the construction. The builders of the subway left them for dead and abandoned that section of the tunnels, forcing the survivors to resort to cannibalism in order to stay alive. The last deranged survivor has managed to find an opening through which he can emerge to claim more "food". While the movie is grisly enough in theory, and there are numerous rotting corpses on display in his bizarre underground lair, the pacing of the film is a little sparse and "Raw Meat" was a good time to make a few trips to the concession stand.

The main event for me was "Psychomania", showing here under the original title "The Death Wheelers".  This insane feature was always on cable TV when I was a kid, usually showing late at night when I should have been in bed.  "Psychomania" is about an obnoxious motorcycle gang called "The Living Dead" that seems to be comprised of snotty English rich kids who do badass tough things like physically assault young mothers and babies.  The gang's leader, Tom, just happens to come from a family involved in Satan worship; his mother is a medium who happens to understand the secret of surviving death. Apparently, all you have to do is believe you'll come back from the dead, and you will. Tom commits suicide, the rest of the gang burying him upright while he's still sitting on the back of his bike, and later he comes roaring out of the grave, good as new. The rest of the gang starts to do it, too, and pretty soon they're all dead and loving it, except for Tom's girlfriend Abby. Being the lone holdout, the movie wants us to care what happens to her, even though she is in love with a man who runs babies over with his motorcycle. Eventually Tom's mother decides enough babies have been harmed, so she revokes her deal with the devil and suddenly Tom and the other really-dead Living Dead members are finally really dead, immediately being covered with dirt and turning into dirt hills.  Wowzers!

I have to admit, if there was a drive-in festival like this every month, I'd probably attend. I love going to the drive-in, I just usually hate movies that were made anytime in the last 25 years. Who wants to go to the drive-in to see "Transformers 6"? No, drive-ins were destined to show movies like these, and as long as the Super Drive-In Monsterrama keeps rolling, I'll be on board. See ya next year, Riverside Drive-In!

Super Drive-In Monsterrama, 2012 - Night 1

The annual weekend retro horror festival at the Riverside Drive-In in Vandergrift, PA is halfway over with, and last night's lineup was a blast from the groovy past.  The weather held off from raining, although a strange combination of warm and cool breezes kept swelling up around us, and the usual faint mist that drifted over the place only helped to enhance the atmosphere. In the snack bar, the usual vendors had an assortment of horror themed DVDs, magazines, t-shirts, and plastic models for sale. I spotted George Reis of DVD Drive-In there, as well as Tom Savini holding court in the snack bar during one of the intermissions.

First up was "Theatre of Blood", that classic Vincent Price flick where he plays Edward Lionheart, an actor scorned by the circle of local theater critics who refuse to give him positive reviews for his Shakespearean performances. After an incident at an awards ceremony, where a lesser known actor is honored for his accomplishments instead of him, Lionheart appears to commit suicide in front of the critics as they relax at a private party. A year after the incident, the critics start to die in gruesome ways, each of them patterned after the works of Shakespeare, and Lionheart seems to have returned from the grave to exact revenge upon them.

The gimmick itself is very similar to "The Abominable Dr. Phibes", although without the elaborate makeup. This time, Price seems to be going a little meta, and the character seems to be referring to Price as an actor whom critics refuse to take seriously. The death scenes are just as camp as the Dr. Phibes films, with the creepiest being the first one, where Price's ragtag group of "actors"--actually a small community of vagrants who fished him out of the river where he committed suicide--descend on a critic and slash him to death with broken bottles and other sharp implements on the Ides of March, just like Julius Caesar. Price also met his wife, Coral Browne, on the set of this film, where he disguises himself as an ultra camp gay hairdresser and murders her by electrocuting her under a blow drier.

"Horror House" is a dull 1969 film about which the less said, the better. It starts out alright, with a bunch of swinging English young people deciding to make a visit to an abandoned "haunted" house The most interesting thing about this movie to me was the late 60s visual style it has, although Frankie Avalon looks like he's still stuck in the late 50s. A few knife-attack murders are boringly staged, and by the end of the film, the whodunit mystery of the movie has become secondary to another burning question: "When is this goddamned movie going to end?"

Much more fun is "Equinox", another film I'd never seen until last night. Made as a student film project in 1970, it features a primitive "Evil Dead" scenario where a group of four young people are summoned to a professor's cabin in the woods, where they discover the professor has unleashed a demon by reading from a cursed book.  The minions of hell torment them in an effort to gain control of the book, and the fate of the world (presumably) hangs in the balance, EEEEE! Although the movie is crude and amateurish, it features some impressive monsters in it, including a stop-motion giant and a winged demon that appears at the climax of the film.

The final feature was the notorious "Son of Blob", aka "Beware! The Blob", a 1972 blob sequel directed by none other than Larry Hagman, and featuring cameos from numerous 1970s TV and movie personalities, including Cindy Williams, Burgess Meredith, Dick Van Patten, Carol Lynley, Godfrey Cambridge, and in the strangest cameo, Christian rock musician Randy Stonehill, who appears as a pot-smoking hippie who gets eaten by the blob while singing a song about cocaine in a storm drain with Cindy Williams. Also appearing is Richard Stahl, a character actor whose name you probably don't recognize but whose face you definitely would if you were watching TV at all in the 60s, 70s, or 80s.  Finally, the gorgeous Marlene Clark appears in a brief role in the movie, she who appeared in 70s genre classics like "Ganja & Hess" and "Night of the Cobra Woman".  She gets eaten by the blob real early in the film though, and whenever I see this movie I always wish she had at least a few more scenes.

In between all of the movies, the festival features numerous vintage horror trailers, as well as snack bar advertisements from various decades of the era of drive-in theaters. The programmers also usually show a Three Stooges short, which is the one aspect of the festival I wish would just go away for good. I hate the Three Stooges, and for one I'd rather have the length of a Stooges short shaved off the end of the entire festival so that it didn't end at 5 in the morning. This year's Stooges piece, however, was a bizarre World War II era short that featured them mocking Hitler, so it at least had a weird appeal for about sixty seconds.

But hey, how can I complain too much about a festival like The Super Drive-In Monsterrama?? I'm headed back there tonight for the second part!

Even a blurry screen cap of Cushing is worth including!

Straight On Till Morning (1972)

1972 was a banner year for movies about naive young women looking for love and finding it with a deranged serial killer.  And by "banner year", I mean I can think of two.  One of them is "The Folks at Red Wolf Inn", and now I've discovered another one.  "Straight on Till Morning" doesn't have any cannibalism, but it does feature a similar scenario of a somewhat childish young lady who wanders right into some psychopathic shenanigans and doesn't even realize it until it's way out of control.

Strangely, "Straight on Till Morning" is a Hammer film, yet it has nothing of what one would expect from a Hammer film--no Count Dracula, no spooky castle, no Christopher Lee, not even a single damn cameo for Peter Cushing. The studio must have been trying to evolve, as it was starting to leave period films behind and even began setting its Dracula films in contemporary times (this was the year of  "Dracula A.D. 1972"). I still wonder if they knew what they were getting into when they greenlit "Straight on Till Morning", which not only avoids the tone and visual tropes of most horror films, but also has the most ADHD visual style that I've ever seen outside of a Russ Meyer film. The director, Peter Collinson, frequently layers two or more scenes and then cuts back and forth between them in short bursts of dialog and visuals,  resulting in a fragmented narrative. The effect is strangely disorienting at best, and fucking irritating at worst. It's almost as if Collinson just assumed you'd be either stoned, tripping, or both when you saw this movie in a theater in 1972, and he decided to mess with your mind by twisting it and then trying to bend it into the shape of a soft pretzel.

Getting comfortable in this movie's world is out of the question, so the beginning of the film can be a bit of a mystery to the first time viewer. From what I was able to piece together later in the film, Brenda (Rita Tushingham) is a young woman living with her mother in a part of England that resembles a large prison complex, with no visible plant life anywhere. She is a little bit wacky, writing stories where she is a princess and is rescued by a handsome prince. She tells her mother she is pregnant, and because she's pregnant she must leave home and go to find a suitable father for her child. I'm not quite sure what sense this made at the time, but it turns out it doesn't matter--Brenda's not pregnant at all. After flying the coop, she insinuates herself into the local party scene and starts living with a young woman named Caroline (Katya Wyeth).

"So like, I was thinking, I just can't help feeling like I'm stuck in a 70s nightmare, man!"

Despite her best efforts, the plain-looking Brenda can't get any real attention from anybody with a penis, so she resorts to doing what any other young woman who wants to get pregnant would do: she kidnaps a man's dog, with the intention to bathe it, pretty it up, and return it to him as a means of making his acquaintance.  Unfortunately for her, the man is Peter (Shane Briant), who happens to be a serial killer. It seems that Peter is also looking for love, it's just that he has a problem with pretty things: he kills them. When Brenda shows up at his door with his dog, he sees through her little ruse and gets her to admit right away that she wants to have a baby with him. Kind of like hiring a new maid, Peter tells her she can move in as long as she does all the cooking and cleaning, and we'll see about that baby. Oh, and he doesn't really know who she is, since she gives him a phony name and he decides to make up his own and call her Wendy. Since Wendy/Brenda's "not pretty", maybe she has a chance of being the love of Peter's life.

"Straight on Till Morning" is clearly not playing with a full deck. It's more like a demented romance, where strange motivations drive the characters in ways that are hard to relate to. Even though it doesn't make much sense, I really got into the way the story unfolded. The lack of any real graphic violence doesn't do anything to diminish the uncomfortable atmosphere the film generates, especially in the scene where Peter brutally kills his dog, which Brenda has unwittingly "ruined" by making it pretty. Flashbacks to Peter's other women reveal that he's done this many times before, which leads me to wonder where the hell he's getting rid of these bodies, and how the walls in his row house must be completely soundproof to mask all that screaming. Peter's homicidally crazy, but Brenda is a little crazy, too, so the lurid quality of the film is like watching two unstable people who are living in a fantasy world.

I wasn't certain if the downbeat story arc and twisted subject matter alone would make me consider "Straight on Till Morning" a 70s Doom film, but I knew for sure when I heard that title ballad on the soundtrack--YES, an actual 70s Doom song! There's also the crazy editing, which is either arty or eye-gougingly annoying, take your pick, but there's some interesting cinematography to look at. The outdoor city settings are bleak, and Collinson likes to film his subjects as far removed from nature as possible. You get the impression that the film's world is a never-ending wasteland of concrete, cookie cutter buildings, where only the interiors have any character at all. "Straight on Till Morning" is like an oddball person on the bus who sits next to you and starts talking whether you want like it or not. It invaded my space and made me uncomfortable at first, but I caught myself actually listening and wondering where the hell it was talking about.

"So tell me, that flag in the background--is someone in this far-out flat a member of the Bear community?"